Over a year ago, I made the decision to commit to myself and my growth, totally and head on. I couldn’t figure out what direction to go, I was very stuck, I felt completely miserable and so my son suggested a Personal Development Course in Florida. It changed my life.
I’m not going to go into what the course is about just yet. I will leave that for another writing. What I will tell you is that if it wasn’t for this course, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here at 12:16am writing about this right now. I couldn’t sleep and I’m grateful for that because now I can finally share with you why.
About four months ago, I moved to Florida and changed my life.
I am a Life Coach. I have a Life Coach. My Life Coach, who I met through the Personal Development Course, guided me, and not without struggle I might add, to this awareness I have finally come to. I say this to show that being a Life Coach has been a dream I have had for many years, a dream that eluded me. It takes a lot of courage and cahunas to make a decision to change one’s life and move forward and I finally realized the strength I carry within me. My ego is one tough cookie. It has kept me stuck for many years. What I came to discover is that the power my ego has had over me is the same power I have as a woman to realize my dreams. That is huge for me!
So here it is. My realization of what I am capable of AND what we are all capable of. I will start with me because that’s who I live with on a daily basis. I have an addiction. Interesting to say because I never thought of it as such. In fact I didn’t even know that this could even be considered to be an addiction. But let me start with what an addiction is.
“Addiction is a chronic, relapsing disease affecting the brain’s reward, motivation, and related systems. People struggling with addiction are unable to control their actions or make rational decisions about their behavior, even in the face of negative consequences. Addiction is a process based in altered functioning of the reward and motivation systems of the brain. It can manifest in many ways, but historically addictions fall under two categories.” Per this article on www.albertafamilywellness.org/brain-development-addiction/different-kinds-addiction, those two categories are substance related addictions and behavioral and process addictions, to include work, gambling, food, etc. They also say that some behavioral addictions will cause substance related addictions.
But here is something interesting I learned about myself just yesterday. The main thing about addiction is that it relates to a process based in altered functioning of the reward and motivation systems of the brain. We are taught as children, or learn it on our own, based on situations or traumas while we were growing up which continue throughout life, to have certain beliefs about ourselves. This is a normal part of the growing up process.
One of my belief systems is that I am not good enough. But here is something else interesting. I have never personally become addicted to a particular substance or behavior. Something I had always though was kind of odd. I couldn’t understand why not me, watching my friends and family going through things like that.
Substance abuse is a very difficult path in life to follow and it seems that so many people have landed on that path. I can’t write a lot about it because I don’t know firsthand as I said earlier, but I know it can and will destroy a life. I commend those who took that leap and took charge of their lives in order to work through it. You are brave souls.
So here is my story. I am an addict, although I do not have an addiction to a substance nor to work or shopping or any of those types of addictions. I had no idea what was going on until now. My addiction, which could be considered behavioral or maybe emotional, is to whatever motivation it is that I get from being stuck in my belief and story of not being good enough.
Well that’s interesting. How can I possibly be addicted to that? I’m perfectly “normal.” Snicker snicker. This makes absolutely no sense to me. So here it is. I have been so used to doing this over the past 50 years, that I didn’t even recognize that my behavior was my way of gaining attention for myself. This stems from my own story growing up in which I didn’t get the nurturing and love that I (and every child) deserved to get from my mother. It is what it is and now I see that, so blaming her doesn’t work for me anymore. In fact, by blaming her, I kept myself stuck.
So add to that my payback of “I’ll show her,” in such a way that I turned into self-sabotage and became my own worst enemy. I have held myself back from my potential my entire life. I have kept myself small and stuck. I never realized, until yesterday, that not feeling good enough was my ticket to attention.
Cut to now. What I want you, the reader, to get from this, is that Addiction is a sneaky thing and we all have addictive behavior in one form or another. And saying that is not to diminish any form. My understanding, however, is that our beliefs lead us into addiction in one form or another and these beliefs stemmed from our thoughts and emotions at whatever age/situation we got stuck.
What I also have learned is that it can be overcome, no matter what the addiction is, once we are ready to face our future. I can honestly say this though, it isn’t easy. It takes a lot of fortitude, courage and conviction to break through any addiction and stay that way! This requires three very important beginning steps: Willingness, a Burning Desire and a Decision to step out of our comfort zone into life.
Kudos to all of you who are on your path to healing!
Are you willing to step out with me? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Is there something you want to say and you need someone to listen? Is there something you want to let go of? I would love to connect with you! You are loved. Send me an email, let it go and take a step towards reaching your highest potential! firstname.lastname@example.org
*This is completely anonymous, no personal information will be released, sold, or exposed. We only publish anonymous emails with the authors consent.
Want to reach your highest potential? If you’re ready for change, serious about investing in yourself and ready to work with a mentor send me an email. This program is intense and an investment. Serious inquires only.